Week 5: Intentional Gift Giving & Gracious Gift Receiving
Hello and welcome to week 5 of the Cultivating a Minimalist Holiday online course. This week is all about intentional gift giving and GRACIOUS gift receiving.
Imagine a Christmas morning where you wake up and nothing is under the tree or in stockings. All the décor is still there, but no gifts. How would you feel? And why would you feel that way? All we have been taught about Christmas, why would we still feel disappointed to see know gifts on this holiday about Jesus or about the celebration of the winter season.
Why we gift? Challenge the narrative of what a bountiful, rich holiday looks like? Does it really need to include lots of gifts under the tree.
I promise you – your kids (with some practice and training) will come to love a simplified Christmas morning. They only have one set of hands and one set of eyes. They don’t need 10 books, 5 boardgames, 7 new LEGO sets, a toy that requires batteries (that you don’t have) or hours of charging before it can be used.
By now, you should have a budget for how much you’re spending on gifts. If not, you can either decide how much to spend and base the rest of your flexible spending around that or vice versa.
The confines of your budget will help you determine who you are getting a gift for and how much you can spend.
Frugal options – regift or make something from things you already own – gift gently used clothing or toys, unopened candles or toiletries, my personal fav….gift a book from your bookshelf with handwritten notes for the reader to discover as they make their way through the book. Homemade baked goods or a mix with instructions that just requires the receipent to add perishables
Leaning more towards ethical and sustainable – there are bound to be makers markets or pop ups in your area. Seek these out to help support your local economy and reduce shipping demands
Give the gift that keeps on giving – MEMBERSHIPS! Gardens, parks, museums, recreational areas, moviepass is coming back, streaming services, a digital magazine, an online learning portal like Skillshare or Masterclass. A service they wouldn’t normally get themselves like a seamstress, lawncare, house cleaning. Meal delivery services gift certificates.
While you may know know someone who sees receiving gifts as their love language, or you might be someone who loves giving gifts, this doesn’t have to equate to tangible, physical thing! You and the receipient can both feel that love just by saying that something is a gift and being thoughtful about what it is.
Sending out Christmas cards is perfectly acceptable gift.
Focus more on gifting the people in your life who serve you – employees and service workers in your life than on the people you are on a more equal playing field with (spouses, parents, friends)
Consider which charities in you can give more to or give your time to. Don’t just donate haphazardly. Research what is needed and the best way to get it to them. Which might been buying something and waiting for the holiday rush to end.
We are traditionally taught to give a specific type of gift for the holiday – it’s the items you see packaged up in little sets with bows. Things we would normally never use and don’t need, but are “cute”. Maybe we need to bring back the utility gift and reject the “gifty gift”.
Gift giving – consider homemade or a re-gift, first
Think of this as an opportunity to recenter yourself and focus again on your values-aligned goals for the holiday season.
Gracious gift receiving is all about recognizing the intention behind the gift. For some people, receiving gifts graciously comes easily to them. For others, receiving something extra that they don’t want to manage or make space for is overwhelming and illicit a negative response. I find this is especially the case when it comes to gifts given to our children by other people. As the parent, you know what is appropriate for your child and having to make the decision to keep the gift and add extra work to your plate or donate the gift (and add extra work to your plate), keeps like their is no winning in either circumstance. The commonly held believe is that once a gift has been given, it belongs to the person receiving the gift and it is their choice what they do with it. If I think the gift was especially meaningful from the giver and my relationship will that person is important to me, I take the time to have an honest conversation. I know this is easier said than done and there were many years that I put off having that conversation. But in the end, it strengths a relationship to be honest and open. Being communicative from the get-go about what types of gifts are appreciated (if any) makes it less likely that you end up having to manage something unwelcome. The dynamic I here about most often is that of parents managing gifts to their children from a grandparent so I will focus more on those circumstances. Grandparents love a wish list from their grandchild. From their grandchild being the operative word. Depending their age and ability you can have your child draw or write their list, snap a photo of it, and then email the list along with links for where the item can be found. You’ve not only made holiday shopping easier for your parent, but tentatively easier for you if they stick to the list. And if they don’t, go back to remembering the intention. And when the holiday season is over, you can revisit if that gift is suitable to stay in your home or not.
If all else fails, you can submit your performance as most gracious gift receiver to the Academy for consideration this awards season ;)
Thank you for joining me this week! We are more than halfway through the course with just 2 weeks left til Christmas and 3 weeks left in the course!
Next week we will be focused on establishing & supporting thoughtful traditions. Until then, keep up the great work creating your most joyful and peaceful holiday season yet!
