Week 6: Establishing & Supporting Thoughtful Traditions
Welcome to Week 6 of the Cultivating a Minimalist Holiday 8-week online course. This week we are focusing on establishing & supporting thoughtful traditions. Today’s audio call will invite you to review the holiday activities you traditionally take part in to decide what stays, what goes, and what you want to bring in to support your minimalist holiday season.
Before diving into specific traditions, let’s start with a reflection. You started this course by setting your intentions so going back to those intentions at the start of every new topic is going to ensure you stay intentional and focused on what you value. So along with revisiting your week 1 intentions, especially focusing on the phrases and adjectives you would use to describe your holiday season, you can also ask yourself:
If a tradition I normally take part in were cancelled, would I feel relieved or upset? Week 6 of your companion workbook provides you the space to write and reflect on this question. You can also ask yourself:
What do Christmas and New Year’s mean to me and anyone I am spending the holiday season with?
What feelings or values do I want to cultivate?
By identifying your core values—whether it’s generosity, togetherness, gratitude, or rest—you’ll have a guiding light for creating new or supporting current traditions that meet the goals of your holiday season.
Now that you have identified which traditions don’t bring you joy, let’s focus on how to change that.
The key to a thoughtful tradition is simplicity. And what I mean by that is the goal and intention isn’t convoluted by the action or activity. There is a very obvious connection of value with action in the traditions we can identify as intentional and values-aligned.
In week 5, we focused on intentional gift giving and gracious gift receiving. And we’re revisiting it now because you can absolutely make a tradition out of the gifts that you give.
If you want to bring intention to gift-giving, instead of piling up presents, consider:
The “Four Gift Rule”: Something they want, need, wear, and read.
Experience gifts like museum passes, classes, or trips.
Homemade or personalized gifts that carry sentimental value.
One the gift giving traditions by family has adopted is inspired by an Icelandic tradition of exchanging books on Christmas Eve so you can spend the evening reading together…and eating chocolate. For a book-loving family that values togetherness, but also rest, this tradition fits our values and our current season of life.
In week 4, we focused on ethical and sustainable decor & ambiance. Making a tradition of what you decorate with and how you create holiday ambiance adds simplicity to your season. Decorating with meaning can look like:
Use family heirlooms or handmade ornaments that tell a story.
Decorate together as a family, playing your favorite holiday music.
Focus on eco-friendly and sustainable décor, such as natural garlands, recycled materials, or secondhand finds.
Shifting to traditional activities, a focus on acts of kindness brings charity and community-based values into your holiday. You can:
Volunteer at a local charity or shelter.
Create care packages for neighbors or those in need.
Or Make a tradition of donating to a cause you care about.
Gatherings and food, provide many opportunities for simplified, repeated actions. You can:
Host a potluck to share the workload and encourage community.
Create a signature family dish that becomes your holiday staple.
Keep menus simple to minimize stress and maximize time with loved ones.
Using all these examples, it’s time to revisit your list of traditions, focusing on the ones that you don’t enjoy. How can you change that tradition to better fit your goals?
I bring my focus especially to the things that stress me out the most and for me that’s meals. I used to make a big dinner on Christmas Day, similar to the scale of a Thanksgiving dinner and it meant I spent half the day in the kitchen. We always travel to visit family in between Christmas and New Year’s Day, so that would mean we’d have this big meal with lots of leftovers and no time eat them.
So I changed the tradition to a small scale, but still more formal meal on Christmas Eve. I make just enough to have some leftovers, mostly ham and desserts. But as I prepare the Christmas Eve meal, I also prepare charcuterie boards - usually one with lots of fruits & veggies and one with meats, cheeses, and crackers. On Christmas Day, I break out the charcuterie boards for people to graze on in between leftover ham and desserts. We end up with little to no leftovers in the fridge when we leave town the next day, and I get to enjoy a peaceful Christmas Day while making sure everyone is fed and happy.
While we have predominantly been focused on Christmas traditions, New Year’s is also the perfect time for reflection and setting intentions. Here are some ways to make it meaningful:
Test out some reflection rituals like:
Create a “Year in Review” journal. Write down highlights, challenges, and lessons learned.
Share gratitude as a family. Each person can express what they’re thankful for from the past year.
Bring focus to setting intentions:
Instead of resolutions, choose a “word of the year” that represents your focus.
Create a vision board together as a family or individually.
Write letters to your future self to open next New Year’s Eve.
And on the topic of family traditions:
Have a game night or movie marathon to ring in the new year.
Take a nature walk or hike to start the year grounded and refreshed.
Enjoy a special meal with symbolic foods, like black-eyed peas for luck or noodles for longevity.
Something to also keep in your mind is that you will need to adapt traditions over time. Life changes, and so do traditions. It’s important to stay flexible and adapt:
Involve all family members in planning and decision-making.
Keep traditions fresh by adding new elements or rotating activities.
Honor the past while being open to the present.
I have watched over traditions evolve over the past couple years as my children have gotten older. There are things that no longer excite them and it makes sense to let go out of that thing rather than try to force it. At the same time, as the mature and their interests grow, we can adopt new traditions that weren’t possible before. Our local botanical gardens has a light show every year called the Galaxy of Lights. It is incredibly popular and part of a lot of family’s holiday traditions. But when my kids were younger, taking part in it was very stressful. They would get cold or bored or not want to walk the whole time. Or we would have to rush off to a bathroom often. But now that they are older, but still not “too cool for school” to enjoy the magic, it is a really enjoyable, low stress activity for the whole family. We can take our time, no one is running off into the darkness, no one is complaining about how cold they are….part of that is because they are at the age where they refuse to admit when I was right about them needing a heavy coat, gloves, and mittens….but it feels like we get our money’s worth. And a time may come when they are bored and complain through the whole thing, and then my husband and I can just go alone and make it a new tradition for ourselves as a couple. No need to force them into something they don’t want to do, making everyone miserable, just for the sake of “tradition”.
Which brings me to the topic of Overcoming Challenges around traditions. Creating thoughtful traditions isn’t always easy. Here’s how to navigate common hurdles:
If you’re experiencing Time Constraints, and aren’t we all
Prioritize what matters most and let go of the rest. Reviewing your values make this much easier.
Schedule downtime to avoid burnout. Or make a tradition of downtime like we do with Christmas Eve reading and DIY Christmas Day meals.
If you’re experiencing financial pressures emphasize low-cost or free traditions, like caroling, baking, or watching holiday movies. As we discussed in week 2, you may find that the frugal traditions you introduce end up being the ones you enjoy the most and they stick around for years, even when you can fit more costly traditions into your budget.
If traditional activities are family expectations that add stress:
Communicate your intentions with extended family.
Offer alternatives, such as celebrating on a different day or simplifying gift exchanges.
Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries to protect your well-being.
Now I’ve already offered a few examples of Thoughtful Holiday Traditions, but here’s a couple more to consider and to help you get inspired. Thoughtful traditions around Christmas could include:
Advent Calendars: Replace candy with acts of kindness or daily reflections.
Story Night: Read a holiday-themed book together each evening.
Or Memory Jar: Write down a favorite memory from the year and share it on Christmas Day.
Thoughtful traditions around New Year’s could include:
Gratitude Jar: Throughout the year, add notes about things you’re grateful for. Read them on New Year’s Eve.
Midnight Toast: Instead of champagne, toast with a non-alcoholic drink and share your hopes for the year ahead.
Sunrise Celebration: Watch the first sunrise of the new year together.
Now that we’ve discussed all the different traditions you can introduce and you’ve settled on what you enjoy that you want to stick around, let’s discuss how you can support the traditions that are important to you so they are sustainable through the years.
Document Them
Take photos or write in a journal to preserve memories.
Create a holiday scrapbook to revisit each year.
Keep It Manageable
Avoid overcommitting. Choose quality over quantity.
Allow for flexibility. Not every year has to look the same.
Stay True to Your Values
Revisit your core intentions annually.
Let go of traditions that no longer serve your family’s needs.
As we bring this week to a close remember that thoughtful traditions enrich the holiday season and bring a sense of purpose and connection. By aligning your activities with your values, you’ll create lasting memories and reduce the stress often associated with this time of year.
Thank you for joining me in this course as you work towards your minimalist holiday season. Don’t forget to visit this week’s message board to share your thoughts! I would love to hear about your favorite holiday traditions or what you enjoyed most from this week’s class.
Next week, we will focus on how to make sure you are creating magic for yourself this holiday season because you deserve a joyful and peaceful holiday, too! Have a great week!
